Creativity + Social Change
University of Connecticut
“I don’t think of it as working for world peace, he said. I think of it as just trying to get along in a big strange family.”
-- Brian Andreas, Drawing, 2003
-- Brian Andreas, Drawing, 2003
My metaphor of "community as family" derives from several sources, the most recent being the one above that accompanies one of Brian Andreas’s illustrated stories.
I have two other sources. The first comes from Museum of Modern Art’s 1955 exhibition of photographs collected by Edward Steichen, entitled "The Family of Man." Published as a book, the collections consists of 503 pictures from 68 countries. At the time, it was considered, and I still consider it, one of the greatest of photographic collections ever assembled. The second inspiration comes from Hillary Clinton’s book title, It Takes a Village, suggesting that no person is raised in isolation from his or her community. The community is therefore, in a sense, the child’s family.
It seems to me that this metaphor of "community as family" gives us a powerful tool for positive caring and productivity. It brings the idea of love into the conversation. We are, after all, expected to love our families and admonished to love one another. Certainly not all, but equally certainly, there are many, many very successful family enterprises. We already begin with a proven tool. Family enterprises can be, and often are, very successful.
And the metaphor works in several ways. If we think of the members of our community as our family members, we are more inclined (in most instances) to "cut them some slack." If we think of them as family members, we are more likely to remember our obligation to love and maintain harmony. Consequently our community, no matter what our enterprise, has a much greater chance of success.
Now, of course, some might immediately want to impose certain structures and strictures on such a metaphor -- parent, child, obediance by children, authority of parents. But the concept of family is much larger than this. When we think of family in the larger sense, we immediately see that family does not even require immediate blood relatives. We have in-laws and we consider them family. We have grandparents, uncles, aunts and cousins once, twice and thrice removed. And they are all family. Although I am suggesting family as a metaphor for community, it may be more fact than metaphor. I seem to recall that we have had some high-profile people in the government who have proven to be related.
In an article last September, the Chicago Sun-Times laid out Obama’s ancestry – including the genealogical, if not spiritual, relationship between Obama and Vice President Dick Cheney. According to the newspaper, they are ninth cousins once removed, with their common ancestor being Mareen Duvall, a French Huguenot who settled in Maryland in the mid-1600s. In an Oct. 16 interview on MSNBC, Lynne Cheney confirmed the connection, based on extensive research she did for her latest book, Blue Skies, No Fences. However, she calculates that Obama and Cheney are eighth cousins, one degree closer than the Sun-Times has it (Wikipedia). Whether or not it is eighth or ninth cousin, they are still family. They might do well, and we might all benefit from, their remembering this.
What is it about families that make them special? In close families, there is familiarity -- whether it is positive or negative. And that familiarity allows some sense of ease in a strange and sometimes difficult world. With regard to families that are not geographically close (my mother’s brother’s children some whom I have never met and others whom I have not seen in 40 years), the very fact that we are related, that we are family, gives some motivation to make them special. I am willing to look for and appreciate our connections. If we could give some of that same appreciation and attention to people for whom we are not aware of connection, we would go a long way to developing harmonious community and all the benefits that flow from harmony.
So I suggest thinking of community as family. It has power and it is based in indesputable fact. Both maternal mtDNA and paternal Y-chromosome show that everyone carries genetic code of African origin. Humans’differing physical features – blonde or black hair, round or slanted eyes – are the effects of millennia of climactic influence and natural selection. We share a common genetic ancestry that far outweighs physical differences – 99.9 percent of all DNA is the same. Yet this does not prevent discrimination from infesting all corners of the world. To check discrimination’s advance, teachers could start by sharing with their students such scientific findings mentioned above. While knowledge alone cannot prevent prejudice, its spread can dampen the effect and show that we are interconnected not only through globalization, but also through ancestry. (Wikipedia)
This idea of "it takes a village" continues to come up for me this semester. I am taking an online course that focuses on family and family relationships from an interdisciplinary standpoint. I also have many friends around me having children or with children already. I listen to my friends complain about how their children’s individuality is being sucked out of them by the kids they spend time with in school and in public. The children no longer use their imagination or want for themselves, they say and do what those around them say and do or they want for what their friends want and have. The parents are distressed that the children they spent the last five or six years raising and instilling value in are losing what they've learned to the social norms and behaviors of those around them. As I’ve never been a parent and won’t be for a bit, I don't know what watching that loss is like. From the perspective of a woman without children it seems to me that these parents shouldn’t be surprised. It seems that we send them to school and to social activities so that they can learn new and different ways and make their own selections. What a child likes or dislikes isn’t a parent's decision to make after the age of 18 so why should it be at 5 or 6? Community seems to be an enemy to these parents or a negative energy that is changing their control over the child. At the same time, I have read about other cultures in the world that use "alloparents" to raise the children, alloparents are friends and family members (including other children) who assist the birth mother and father in raising the child. These parents rely on the help of those around them for survival of their children and the group as a whole. These cultures don't understand life without community. It just is. Perhaps it's just our skewed American perception to others, or perhaps these other cultures have more purity to their people and less evil that we try to shield our children from at a young age. Or perhaps these other cultures are willing to accept the poor values instilled by others into their children because it guarantees survival at any cost for the child. Or maybe because I only have the mind-set of an American woman in her late-twenties I can’t possibly see what these other cultures do about raising children in a community setting. I agree completely that we are all of the same make-up, but somewhere along the line some of us strayed very far from what was. I’m sure there is a way to get us back on track, back to a place where we embrace community and each other as a long extended family, but it should be a very long journey. I honestly believe that so much of what we talk about and so much of what we as a class agree we need to accomplish needs to start with our children.
ReplyDeleteWonderful piece Pete, this really brought up so much for me and really tied into everything else that I’m learning right now. As a woman on the verge of doubling her family size and inviting in a world of new members I really loved reading this. Regardless of who they are and what they’ve done, they are my new family, my new community.
Pete, you are correct to say that we are one big family. As you mentioned, not only are we 99.9% identical, we are (if you believe in spirituality and God) children of the Universal Father; thus we are all brothers and sisters, figuratively speaking. To each of us, families have a very special place in our hearts. They are the people who we care deeply about and who, in turn, also care deeply about our well being. No matter the dire circumstances we face in life, our family will always be there for us. If we can feel such a special connection to our family members, and the joy associated with it, then why can't we consider everyone else in the world as part of our family? If we can show complete strangers the love that we should our family members then I can guarantee that the world will be headed in the right direction. Can you remember a time where a complete stranger went out of their way to help you when you needed help the most? Perhaps you had a flat tire by the side of the road and someone driving by decided to stop and help you. Or perhaps you unknowingly dropped money on the ground only to have someone pick it up and return it to you. How happy did you feel that a complete stranger only had your best interest in mind when they were helping you? If we just considered every single person in this world as being part of our family, can you imagine how much of a better place it would be? As Pete has mentioned, "In close families, there is familiarity -- whether it is positive or negative. And that familiarity allows some sense of ease in a strange and sometimes difficult world." We may not have the opportunity or time to become familiar with those around us, but just having the positive thought that everyone in the world is part of our family will be sufficient in creating a better environment for us to live in; one of peace and harmony.
ReplyDeleteI just read a piece about the use of Twitter, Facebook, Linked-In, etc in which one can become connected in short order to many others creating a community or family as your metaphor. However, the article indicates that to really maintain a relationship among all of these contacts, it is not likely that more than 125 contacts can be actively maintained for any long period of time.
ReplyDeleteI have also heard the illustration of all of us participating as passengers on a train as we transverse life. Through life, we are constantly boarding and debarking from trains to go to the next chosen station. Fellow travelers who are part of our community get on and off the train with us, but these persons are not always the same individuals as we move through our life’s journey. Some persons will be there most of the way getting on and off at each stop chosen. Thus, the community is in constant flux.
However, I think family can be a real model or metaphor to illustrate a community. Family is usually, but not always, identified with stability, care, and love. When this is the case, I agree that the concept of love within the family is an excellent guide for maximizing the functioning of the community. I do believe the commandment of “Love one another.” would do wonders to solve issues, conflicts, and disputes within any community.
There is no reason, as you point out, to have so many social problems because of the fact that the genetic identity of every human has been traced to a common ancestral pair who originated in northeast Africa to the Middle East. I have read that the ancestors of the woman go back farther than that of the male. One theory of this is the Biblical flood. On the Ark were males who were all of the same genetic tree, but there were wives which had a much more diversified genetic makeup. Interesting no?
I enjoyed your composition. There be truth and insight therein.
An extension of your writing would be to consider one's family community to be the family of man. In this way we would "give slack" when dealing with our friends and enemies and would contribute toward attaining world peace. In contrast if we have a more consticted family community the others are "alien" and we focus on protecting our restricted family community. Thanks for your thoughtful piece.
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